glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
