I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
