YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize