A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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