Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
