"it" just moved
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
