yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
