apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
