you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Randomize
