Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
