He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
