your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize