i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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