My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
