I'm going to rape someone's good day.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Randomize
