I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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