Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
i dont even know how to be here
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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