Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Randomize
