she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
