I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
