So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize