Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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