Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize