If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
