I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
