im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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