I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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