Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
