It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
