I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize