there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
