You made me cry and you don't even care
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize