Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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