yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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