Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
