u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
