I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize