I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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