Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
i think i have herpe
just one?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Randomize
