Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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