at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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