You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Randomize
