I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
