we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
