i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
