Do you still have your period?
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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