lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
