Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
