im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
