Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
