I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
