He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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