Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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