Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
