I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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