1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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