I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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