I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
