office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Randomize
