I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
