I can tuck mytits in my pants
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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