So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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