Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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