508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
