Apparently you make a good broom.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
