Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
