I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Randomize
