Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
