Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
