I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
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