you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
