Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize