OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Randomize
